WRITING HINTS: ATTRIBUTIVES,

MODIFYERS, SCENES AND LOOKING IN THE MIRROR

(Not really an interview, just a piece I wrote for the people on the bulletin board that might help some of you who are learning your craft. -CM)

Last night my girlfriend was reading a suspense novel by a guy
who is selling millions of books. She started visibly cringing,
then she put the book down and said, "This guy just sucks. I
can't believe the reviewers thought his dialogue was good." Then
she proceeded to read me some dialogue.

At every change of speaker, the writer used a new and unique
attributive (he saids, she saids). Things like:

"No," Bob ejaculated.
"Oh yes," retorted Sally.
"Maybe," James jumped in.
"Bite me," Bob riposted.
"Is that an invitation?" queried Sally.

Well, you get the idea. And no, I'm not exaggerating much. So
here's your lesson for the day.

He said, she said, it said. In 90% of the cases you can use
"said" as your attributive verb. In cases where there are only
two speakers you can often get away without attributes because
the gods of grammar have given us that wonderful rule about a new
speaker on each line. Sure, occasionally someone will "shout" or
"whisper", or "hiss", but in most cases "said" will do the job.

Now lesson two. Modifying "said" with adverbs. Sure, sometimes
someone will say something in a manner that is out of character
for the words, then you'll have to modify how they said it, but
in most cases, if you've done your job with the dialogue, you
won't need to say how someone said it. For example

"I think I'm going to kill myself," Bob said forlornly. (or
sullenly, or sadly)

Well, Duh! Sort of goes without saying, doesn't it.

On the other hand,

"I think I'm going to kill myself," Bob said cheerfully. Well, in
that case, you would want the modifier, because you don't often
hear that phrase in a cheerful manner. (My personal idiosyncrasy
is to add some sort of gesture: "I think I'm going to kill
myself," said Bob, grinning like a possum eating a used Pamper.)

Overall, you want to try to avoid adverbs (-ly words) altogether,
but in dialogue and attributives, really measure whether you need
to use them. Your first task in reading over anything you write
is to flush out the unneeded modifiers (both adverbs and
adjectives) and kill them like rabid dogs. Now, some hints:

Write in scenes, just like in play or a movie. Each scene should
accomplish something. (Making people laugh is also accomplishing
something, although you won't find that in any of the "how to
write" books) This will further break up your chapters.

Write in omniscient and limited third person point of view, and
change points of view between scenes if you need to by using a
double break. This is perfectly acceptable and is a great way to
establish character, since we'll see different scenes through
different people's eyes. It also allows you to cliff-hang one
character and go on to another. I've written all but one of my
books this way for a reason, and the reason is that it gives you
a lot of options and a lot of devices for creating suspense.

Do not have characters walk in
front of a mirror, a window, or a reflecting pond and notice how
they look. Just say how the fuck they look. Even experienced
writers do the "He surveyed himself in the mirror and thought,
not bad for an old broad," lines and I just want to bitch slap
them. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read some
suspense novels. Otherwise perfectly talented writers are afraid
to pick up the goddamn point of view and describe a character
without some tired-ass device. Don't paint yourself into that
corner. In my experience all anyone who looks in the mirror ever
thinks to himself is "wow, is my hair fucked up" or "boy, am I
fat". (Wow, that sort of turned into a rant. Sorry. Sore spot. Ran
into that last night in something I'm reading.) Also, unless it's
important, most all you need to know about someone is about how
old they are and maybe two other things. For instance, he was in
his forties, thin, and had a horn in the middle of his forehead.
You can just see the guy, can't you?

Use descriptive verbs. If someone sidles, scooches, slimes,
skulks, sneaks, slides, glides, dances, skips or bounces across a
room, you don't have to say how they did it. If they move or
walk, you may feel tempted to say how.

Best thing to do with a scene is use guerilla tactics. That is:
get in, get out, and nobody gets hurt. If you must describe,
describe in order of perception. You notice that a person in the
bar is wearing a chicken suit long before you notice that the bar
has leaded glass mirrors.